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Max Appears to Tessie


On or around, 02/02/2004
Waxing gibbous moon
Time unknown

Max Appears to Tessie

Quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. 36


Tessie, our dear friend, phoned me and told me something incredible. She had been daydreaming in her room when Max appeared to her in a vision. She said she was awake when it happened, rather than simply seeing him in a dream.

Tessie said Max appeared to be young, perhaps about eighteen years of age. His hair was longer than usual and rather wavy. She told me he appeared to be euphoric, marching back and forth with what looked like a long pole that he would sometimes twirl and tap on the (seeming) ground as they talked. He wore a white shirt and a pair of blue shorts that looked like a uniform – clothing that Max might wear for school sports, such as field hockey or soccer.

Continue reading Max Appears to Tessie

The Toaster Trick


Thursday, 01/22/2004
Around 6:00 a.m.

The Toaster Trick

What You Wont Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell….25

Wow, the toaster trick happened again.

Since Max left, our toaster has been acting up – “behaving” quite strangely I must say. How else can I put it? On some mornings when I fix my breakfast – coffee, cereal and a slice of toast – the toast pops up and stays in the toaster. (I imagine this is the normal situation for most people.) Yet, about two or three times a week now, I’ve noticed that amazingly, the toast pops up, flies into the air and lands right on top of the toaster.

One time, the toast missed the top of the appliance and alighted like a bird on the counter. Mostly though, as if by an invisible sleight of hand, the toast lands on top of the toaster and stays there. What a sight to see – makes me “flip” every time! It’s like someone is saying, “Madam, your toast is served” or “See, I can make you laugh after all!”

I am here to tell you that the toaster trick never happened before Max died. No, not once. Our toaster worked normally then. In fact, it still works fine but with value added: the toast pops up, flips in mid-air, becomes parallel to the counter, and lands on top of the toaster.

It’s as if the toast is presenting itself to me so that I might further delight in eating it with butter and jam.

Post Script

Max used to make my toast in the mornings, though not every day. He only did it if I was running late or had work to do before driving to the office. Seems like he’s still here helping me get to work on time. “Hey, did I tell you I love you today?” he used to say. Now I tell others that way, like I’m Max.

25. Caldwell, Bobby. “What You Won’t Do for Love.” What You Won’t Do for Love. Sin-Drome, 1978. LP.

To see what lyrics Mandy chose from Bobby Caldwell’s song, pick up her new book “Death is Not The End”, coming soon!

The Hair Dryer Affair


Tuesday, 07/20/2004
Around 6:45 a.m.

The Hair Dryer Affair

What You Wont Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell….89

                 Standing in the bathroom getting ready for work, I’m talking to Max as I sometimes do.  Yet, who is there to listen besides my little ladies?  Perched in the hall are my two lovely cats, ears flicking with each inflection.  Now they’re gawking at me as I natter on while brushing some blush on my cheeks.  Then I dry my hair and when I’m done, I turn off the hair dryer and set it down on the counter as one would normally do.  But even as I start to brush my hair, straight away I hear the word Beautiful! as full-bodied as it can be.  At once, I turn and say, “Who’s there?”

                Taking a step back, I glance down at the hall carpet.  Why, of course, it’s the cats, Allie and Tiggi sitting up, wide eyes tracking my every move.

                Nothing more, nothing less. Continue reading The Hair Dryer Affair